It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
