I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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