i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
high people should be assigned attendants
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
