we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
