the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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