if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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