i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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