just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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