u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
