Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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