Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
