Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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