look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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