and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
