I didn't shave. On purpose
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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