dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
