At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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