I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i would punch a child for taco bell
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
