Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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