smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
