playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
