you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
