Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
