I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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