is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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