chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think I just sharted jello shots
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