physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
