I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
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