he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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