bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
