Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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