I want to have your abortion
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize