He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
