i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
