Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
