let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
