Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
