i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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