Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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