just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
