I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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