i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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