so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
