Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
