don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
