I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
