I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
