When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
