No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize