So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dignity is for republicans.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
