Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
