Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize