Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
