Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just cropdusted the office
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
