so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
