Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She's the barista slut.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
