you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
