So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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