I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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