Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
