We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
