sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
