at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you win again, gameday.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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