sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
