I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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