he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
