Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize