Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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