We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
