We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
